Blake Jennelle (The Blog)

I’m living through a breakup right now, which means that in my heart and in my head, I’m living through a death and an addiction at the same time.

A death because, suddenly and probably forever, I lost someone and something that meant the world to me. I lost a partner, a friend and somebody who knew all my shit and loved me anyway.

I also lost an idea that meant the world to me. I lost the dream I had for the relationship – the future I had started to imagine, the understanding of my past as I had rewritten it, and the shared world we inhabited together as we each made our way through our own.

It’s an addiction because every habit triggers an urge I have to resist, and so do the moments of emptiness in between. When I have a thought I want to share, I can’t share it with her. When I feel misunderstood, I have to turn to someone else to understand me. Read more…